Already off track?!
Jan 14, 2020
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Gw7AzNLHVo

welcome back to my channel if you're new
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welcome all of my new subscribers again
I have had an abundance amount of people
that have been joining my channel and
great support showing me amazing
encouragement and I couldn't be happier
to have so many amazing new people on my
channel along with all the ones that
have been here from the day one thank
you so much for taking your guys a sweet
time to always watch my videos and
giving me feedback when feedback is due
and criticizing when there is a credit
you know when it's due and also being
understanding when understanding needs
to be done as well and there are some
that just don't understand and I'm not
saying that these people don't
understand change or maybe they don't
understand certain things but what I
guess where I'm kind of frustrated is
you know here's the thing is there's
have you ever had a time where you've
gone to the store and you've set out to
get certain things for a dinner and once
you get to the store you're looking
around and you think to yourself mm you
know what now that I'm at the store that
dinner doesn't just really sound very
appealing I don't think I want that I
think I actually want to make this and
you go and you get the things for the
items that you need to make that certain
dinner it's kind of like what I am doing
with this weight loss journey in a in a
way yes it's kind of weird that I'd be
using shopping food that type of thing
to use as my example but that's just
kind of an idea of my point that I'm
trying to put across is again and I've
said this multiple times and I'm just
going to continue to repeat myself
because I think that that's the only way
that I can that I can stand up to the
explanation of what is going on so when
I set out to do this challenge once
again I set out to do the challenge with
another youtuber life by Jim things
changed she wanted to go a different way
not really go a different way but she
wanted to collaborate with another
person and do her thing that was totally
understandable like I said there was no
hard feelings we're totally fine
like it's totally cool there's nothing
there that needs to be drama made out of
it
and that's alright people make different
choices when they start something
sometimes things just don't work out or
they aren't panning out correctly or
they're just not though it's not meshing
the way that you thought it was gonna
mesh but we're not stopping what we have
done we are still moving on with our
progress but just in a different path
you know and that's that's totally
understandable that's okay I'm okay with
that too I've changed things up from you
know I'm gonna do the dollar giveaway to
I'm gonna do a 25 dollar giveaway and
also I have changed things up a little
bit on I was gonna do daily daily videos
and then I chose to kind of take that
back a little bit reason being because I
really want to solely focus on my
nutrition my health my journey as well
as I want to share this with you guys
however I think sometimes I get a little
overwhelmed when I'm trying to prepare
my what I'm gonna eat to make sure that
I remember to grab my camera recording
my food recording this recording I get
overwhelmed I'm only human and I'm just
now changing a whole lifestyle once
again to fit back into my own lifestyle
that I've lived and it's hard at times
to remember to do all those things so a
lot of times I
even remember to record anything until
I'm halfway through my dinner and then
I'm like oh oops I was supposed to
record this before I started eating it I
forget so that I'm just like well bag it
because I've already eaten
you know most of the food and there's no
point in showing it now because my you
know the portions gone because I've
already eaten half of it and you know it
just I it just gets too much and also
because I eat a lot of the same things
throughout the week like I will prepare
or I will buy enough to make a certain
amount of things so that it's the same
thing every single day so in reality
like for instance I bought stuff to make
turkey wraps all week long for my bright
for my lunches because I have the
calories portioned out for it I have all
the nutrition already written out for it
and I have all the ingredients that I
need for it but why am i every single
day going to upload the exact same video
of me eating a turkey wrap when you guys
will already have seen it once what's
the point in repeating that six more
times does that am I making sense so
that's why I was like you know what
until I start really getting into like
real cooking and really diving into
things like that there's really no point
in doing daily uploads of what I am
eating because it's all the same
repeat um with my movement right now I
am doing my movement I have not done
this week's movement like I wanted to I
have been moving but not as much as I
was pushing for I really wanted to do
once an hour five minute walks every
single hour I only did those a couple
times each day I didn't do it as much as
I was planning
that's my failure on my part and I feel
blah because of it but also again you
have to understand I have to cover in
order to be on the camera so in return
right now while I'm trying to just build
my strength and I'm already
uncomfortable because I'm trying to
build that strength up I don't want to
be covered with a whole bunch of layers
clothing just to do my exercise so then
I'm not uncomfortable that way and then
I want to give up because I'm already
uncomfortable so I'm just trying to make
it all work the way I can but also in my
favor so that I don't fail on what I
have set out for myself so it may feel
like oh she's stepping back or she's not
sticking to her word or whatever it
might be that you're feeling but in
reality it's really not it's just please
have understanding that I am just
getting into this groove once I build my
Stegman up and once I can kind of start
moving with being a little bit more
comfortable then I won't have a problem
dressing down and truly showing like
what I am doing but right now it's kind
of hard because I want to be comfortable
so that I don't burn myself out before I
even get a good workout in so that's
just that that's something that I've
seen written on my comments section
quite a bit as you know she's back
lashing and she's stepping back she's
doing this she's doing that no I'm not
you just don't see behind the scenes
because I'm not filming it right now
because I'm trying to do this to keep
myself comfortable so I don't give up so
that's what's going on with that whole
jeff of the working out recording show
everybody wants to see what i'm eating
pretty much i'm eating the same things
every single day for this whole week
next week once all he has his day off we
will go back to the store and I will you
know I'll make another menu for another
week it might be repeats of what I've
had this week I don't know we'll have to
see when I do my weigh-in if what I ate
this week will work for me or if I need
to do some adjusting which is perfect
because I do my weigh-ins on Wednesday
Ollie's day off is Wednesday so that
gives me a good chance to say okay well
if I didn't have as good of a weight
loss or whatever comes up on my scale I
can look at and say well I need to
adjust maybe this and this and this and
I'll go ahead and substitute it and put
this in there and be able to go to the
store and really study in what I'm gonna
do to put those
new items in my eating choices and then
film that for you guys you can see that
so that's just something I really wanted
to talk about because I feel like quite
a few people are getting frustrated with
that and I am doing the best I can I
know that I was gonna do like I said the
daily videos I am NOT saying that I'm
not going to but if I have nothing going
on then there's really nothing to tape
like I what do you want me to tape me
talking to a wall I mean if I'm not
doing anything that day then there's
nothing for me to film so I am doing
everything I can to keep you guys on
board and keep you guys in the loop of
what I'm doing or how my progress is
going in things like that but if I don't
have anything to film that day then
that's kind of why I'm like well that
stay was kind of a you know a blow it
was there was nothing really
entertaining to record so what was the
point in recording it so anyways I just
hope that you guys are know I'm not
gonna say you guys cuz there's multiples
that do understand and are very you know
they agree with what I'm saying and you
know aren't giving me that hard time but
then there are a few that are just like
you know you're slacking you're already
falling back off them bandwagon you're
just repeating what you did last time
and no I'm not I mean every time that
you start a new time of trying to lose
weight is a new time you can't put me up
against my last time because last time I
learned things for this time that I
didn't know last time so every chance
that I do to lose weight is always going
to be a new journey hopefully this time
is my last time that I have to start a
new journey and I can just continue on
this journey and continue to move
towards that healthy lifestyle that I
have wanted for so long but I don't
think it's fair that people would bring
up my
my past weight-loss experience and throw
that in my lap and say well you're
already going back on what you did last
time well last time was last time this
is this time and I am quite sure that
the people that make these comments have
at one point in their life changed their
ideas or changed their minds on
something that they started so you know
take a look back at your own self and
think to yourself before I judge her for
changing something that might work
better for her maybe I need to stop and
think to myself am i doing something
that might be that I changed my my my
direction and you know I can understand
why she's done that so you know before
you really throw rocks at me and say
that I'm wrong make sure that you really
in your heart know that you haven't done
the same because I'm pretty sure 99.99%
sure that everybody has done something
in their life and decided to change
their mind or change direction because
it's gonna work better for them in a
different way
and that's exactly what I am doing right
now I am not stopping what I'm doing but
however I have changed things a little
bit from what I stated at the very
beginning of this whole journey yes I
have changed things yes I have
you know twisted things around a little
bit and I'm you know I'm trying to
figure out what is going to work for me
and what's going to fit in my schedule
what is going to be the best choices for
myself because at the end of the day
this is for me not for anybody else I
can't be doing this for everybody else
if I try to do this for everybody else I
would never succeed and that's why I've
had to learn that I can't listen to
everybody and what everybody's opinions
are because if I did that I would never
be successful because I'd be trying to
do what everybody thinks is right and
not doing what at the end of the day I
know is right for me and when I say what
I know is being that oh I know what I
you know what's right for me I said I've
done a good job of it already no I
haven't but there are a few
people that I am following and I am
listening to their suggestions and I am
listening to their guidance and so far
I've had good results with the choices
that they have not made for me but that
they've laid out for me to make and so
that right there has been a very big
step for me
because I I used to try to listen to
everybody and I used to try and do what
everybody said just so that way I made
everybody happy and at the end of the
day I know I can't do that like I'm
never going to make everybody happy I'm
always going to be a failure in
somebody's eyes because I'm not
listening to what they've suggested one
more thing I wanted to talk about really
quick was I've had a few people bring up
that it's not healthy for me to do
intermittent intermitted fasting or
intermitting however you say it the
fasting I'm not that's not what I'm
doing that's not what I'm trying to do
here on this journey of mine that's just
kind of how it's worked out but that's
not like what I am doing like this
morning I woke up and I woke up hungry
and so I ended up having a 1/2 of a
bagel with a little bit of cream cheese
on it
with a half of a banana and some water I
mean I did have a breakfast so I'm not
saying that I am that's what I'm set out
to do but I don't want people to think
that that's what I'm trying to promote
or that that's what I'm trying to do I'm
not saying that intermittent fasting is
bad no I've heard that it's a very good
it's very healthy and in fact when we do
Ramadan which we'll be in a few months
we actually fast from the time the date
the Sun comes up to the time the Sun
Goes Down we fast with no water no food
no chewing gum
no nothing goes into your mouth
absolutely nothing goes in your mouth
and that could be up to 15 hours a day
it just depends on how long those Sun's
up for the time and so during that time
fast and then once the Sun Goes Down
then we break fast and we eat
intermittent fasting you know you can
drink fluids and stuff like that but for
me for a Ramadan we cannot so that's a
very challenging time for me during that
month because you know you're giving
everything up and it's not just the food
that you're giving up but it's the water
you can't drink water or nothing
last year I did very well the year prior
to that was the first time I ever made
it through the entire month of the
fasting and this year I am really
shooting for to be able to succeed the
entire month as well with my fasting but
I just want to say that that's not what
I'm doing right now I am not doing
intermittent fasting all I am doing is
just eating when I'm hungry so if I
don't wake up and I'm or if I wake up
and I don't get hungry until 11 o'clock
then that's when I'll eat my first mil
if I wake up like I did this morning at
8 o'clock and I wake up hungry well then
that's when I ate my first meal but then
there are other days that I wake up and
I'm not hungry until 2 3 4 o'clock in
the afternoon that's when I eat my first
meal it's not like I'm not drinking
fluids or something during that time
it's just I'm not hungry for food so I'm
just not eating but it doesn't mean that
I am like just setting out to do
intermittent fasting because that's not
why I'm do I am NOT doing intermittent
fasting so I eat when I am hungry when
I'm not hungry I just don't eat I'm just
listening to my body and some people can
laugh at me and say that that's a joke
and that's okay everybody is allowed to
have their opinion but I know again what
I am doing and if it's working for me
right now and I feel good then that's
what I'm gonna continue to do I also was
asked about my blood pressure our blood
pressure my blood my blood sugars and if
I test I do not test my blood when I was
pregnant with Omar I did have full-blown
sugar diabetes where I was taking
insulin at that time I did test my blood
three times a day I had to take my
insulin three times a day yes it was a
big actually no I think I test my blood
more like six times a day and I gave my
shots three times a day but since
I got since I'm on the chart where I'm
just elevated a little bit over the
numbers that you would call yourself a
diabetic down to where you would be
basically a pre-diabetic I'm right in
that that margin right there that he
said he doesn't feel like I need to
start testing myself he just wanted to
start me on metformin just to cover the
bases if my body was going that
direction and going to raise up higher
and stuff he the Med Foreman but he did
not give me the metformin because I've
got full-blown diabetes and I've got to
start testing my sugars and I've got to
do so again another thing is people are
complaining because they're saying well
you have diabetes and this can cause
your blood sugars to drop and I
understand that one again I know what it
feels like to have your Sugar's drop
because I was pregnant with it too I am
well aware of being careful when it
comes to my sugars and how you know like
making sure I'm in tuned with myself but
I also want to state that the metformin
that I am on is not because I'm like way
high up in the the charts of diabetes
but that it's more of a precaution to
keep myself at a low and hopefully when
I go in to have my blood Sugar's checked
again within the next couple of months
I'll be back under that chart again
because I have will have lost enough
weight to show my doctors that hey my
sugars have dropped back down I'm not
even close to the pre-diabetic or
whatever and move on from even having to
take them at Foreman so yeah I I'm
pretty well aware of what I am doing in
the sense that I'm not doing something
that would hurt me or hurt my journey to
succeeding with what I'm choosing to do
but I also am only tuning myself into a
few people that are on my team to guide
me to help me on my way I am listening
to everybody but there are only so much
I can take in consideration that will
work for me because like I said if I
listen to
all three thousands and suggestions I
get I will I'll be a mess I'd be a hot
mess at that and I don't want to be that
way I don't want to get overwhelmed and
then just go hide out because I don't
feel like I'm gonna succeed because I'm
not hitting everybody's goals that
they've set for me or what they think I
should be doing you know yes I had a big
drop in weight last week but don't hold
me to that big drop this week I may lose
more this week I may lose less this week
but just because of that doesn't mean
don't set me up and be like well she
better lose cuz I seen in one of the
comments someone said well she better
lose at least another 15 - or plus in
order to prove that she's still doing
what she's supposed to do no that's not
how it works and if that's how you think
it's gonna work well then you're you're
setting yourself up for a major fell
right there of my weight loss because
nobody continuously loses high amounts
of weight my first week of wins we're
probably a majority of it was water
weight I'm not saying that this week's
not gonna be a big week I don't know but
I'm not setting myself up to say to
myself oh well if I don't lose another
15 pounds well I already failed so I
might as well just whatever you know it
is what it is I know in my heart I'm
trying I know in my heart I'm doing
everything I'm supposed to be doing on
gold points of what I've been put
towards me from my why I'm gonna say my
side coach I guess I would put it and
I'm very in tuned with this person this
person is walking walking me through
this I trust this person and that's as
far as I'm gonna go with that so anyways
I am gonna close you guys I need to
actually go and start cooking my chicken
for my dinner but I will check in with
you guys again
make sure that if you're not subscribed
to subscribe like I had said hit the
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upload so you won't miss my weigh-ins
and also you will not miss my lives and
I will talk to you guys again real soon
bye bye
you